[H] Truth Thursdays | This Journey

Songs that make me brave...

"Helen, you're my brave little princess."  He whispered as he tucked my covers up to my chin, the faint scent of smoke still lingering from his shirt. I could feel the commotion outside as the rest of the house was shredding documents and rearranging furniture; my mother waddling around, 8 months pregnant. We knew they would come in the middle of the night for inspection, as was customary. But in this moment, my room was quiet, my dad, who had just come home after a 12 hour interrogation, was with me. All was safe. All was well.

That night and the month and a half that followed was probably the most outrightly scariest time of my life. It was also the most exciting. Uncertainty freaks the living bejeezus out of me. Uncertainty has been the only certainty in my life. I am scared every day.

I have also learned to be brave every day.

Clair de Lune - Debussy

For my fifth birthday, my grandmother gave me a cd with all the greatest classical ballet music. I would play it every morning and dance around the living room while Tchaikovsky's melodies would prance around me, urging me to twirl, twirl, twirl, up and on the couch, down to the floor, across the white carpet and under the dining table. And then this song would come on, and for some reason, this song, demanded stillness. During this song, track #7, I would rest.

I brought the cd with me when we moved to Asia. Whenever I'd feel afraid, sad, lonely, uncertain, this song would bring me comfort.

16 years later, I think I'm starting to figure out why that is. I like how this entry is titled -"This Journey." I've learned to be brave because I know this is all a journey. I know that each moment in my life shapes me and prepares me for the next one. The notes that trickle one after the other are like those moments. Some seasons are filled with quick successions of moments spiraling into a downfall or a rise. Some moments are long and drawn out. Each moment holds its own, quivering in the air until the next one takes over. Together, those notes create a wonderful melody, a beautiful sound, the most delightful music. I know that together my moments will create a beautiful life.

I trust in my Composer. From glory to glory, He said. And in all things, He works together for the good. Whatever they might have done in evil, He can turn it around for good. I can be brave in my uncertainty because I am certain in Him. I have glimpsed the coda, and though my moments alone may not make sense, I know that it will all come together in the end to form something glorious. I know that in His hands, it will be beautiful. I know that through Him, I can make music. This makes me brave. He makes me brave.

Other songs that make me brave:

Pieces - Red

Dream a Little Dream of Me - Mama Cass

It Is Well with my Soul
Home - Gabrielle Aplin
Moon River - Audrey Hepburn (Breakfast at Tiffany's version)

and Hate (I Really Don't Like You) - Plain White T's for the other kind of brave I find myself needing more often than not. ;)